Source – Last week, I posed a question to you Bros. Where in the world do you want to be right now? There was only right answer.
At Alexis Texas’s birthday boat full of porn stars in Hawaii. For her 31st birthday, Team Texas went to Maui, celebrating with some of her fine adult film star friends.
Think Taylor Swift and HAIM except these girls actually upload their acts of vacation lesbianism to Instagram for the world to see (No, really).
God, I would have burned a church down just to be there.
After I posted the story, a reader hit me up on Twitter. He was there. And he had proof.
Dave just graduated college. His mother got him and his sister a week long stay at the Grand Wailea Resort in Maui. It just so happened that it was the same resort and week that Alexis Texas, Jesse J, Monique Alexander, Blair Bananas, and Nikki Benz were getting hyphy.
Lucky mother fucker. After sending me some pictures from his weekend, we got on the phone. What follows is a lightly edited transcript of our chat (and then a shit down of pictures of that lucky mother fucker partying his face off with five porn stars.) (I’m not jealous. I’m not fucking jealous.)
So, how did you find out you were at the same resort as a porn star birthday party?
Oddly enough, my sister and I were hanging out and saw Aly and AJ Michalka (two former Disney Stars) and went down to one of the pools to try and see them.
[While we were at the pool] my sister got hit by a raft. Monique Alexander saw it happen and started giggling and laughing at us. Then she came up to us and started talking to her.
We were chatting, and it turns out she a Steelers fan. We were giving her shit because we were Cowboys fans. After awhile, my sister asked, “So what do you do.” She pointed to her group of friends and said, “We’re all porn stars. We’re here for two birthdays.” That was Tuesday, so it was Alexis, Monique, and Nikki Benz hanging out with us.
We drank in the pool with them, did some shots. They were really attractive. We would have had no idea they were porn stars at first if they hadn’t said anything. It was all pretty awesome. They were really friendly, and it was pretty chill just hanging out.
What were they drinking
Why do you think they hung out with you?
Alexis just said you guys are fun. They get a lot of shit for being porn stars, and they said people always kinda react weird, but I guess we didn’t. They liked that. At the end of the afternoon, Alexis gave me her number and said to give her a call if we want to do something later.
And did you talk?
Yea, we texted a little a bit. They went snorkeling the next day, but the day after they were back at the pool and hit me up to come hang out.
We all took too many shots, then. With the time change I was all messed up. We started at like noon, which was who knows when back home and we got pretty fucked up, until like four. They then went to some Luau and told me to stay up, wanted to hang out at night.
I passed out and didn’t wake up.
. . .
Our boy Dave declined to discuss if anything else happened (but you can make your own guesses from the pictures he sent us).
We blurred his face because not every prospective employer is as chill as we are when it comes to partying down with porn stars before entering the work force.
TTT: Dave you dirty dog you. I could never leave my mother’s side even if there are 5 sexy ass PornStars in the same hotel as me. What kind of Christian boy are you? LOL SIKE!!!
You are one lucky dude. Let’s be honest you were definitely thrown in the best friend circle, but I’m sure you still had a blast. Taking shots of Peace Ciroc and getting plastered with Alexis Texas? Oh and by the way Happy Birthday Alexis. I’m not hating I hope those girls gave you the time of your life, it just would have been cool to seen a little more skin in those pics. Congrats on the graduation though bro.