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J.J Watt Mic’d Up: A Man Amongst Boys

Pressure, pressure, sac fumble, woo, woo, woo, receiving touchdown, stadium erupts. Just another day at the office for J.J Watt. The texans should get wise and just get this man some snaps under center. Let him work his magic. Hell, let J.J kick field goals, punts, and return kicks while your at it. I’m just wondering when Fantasy Football can tag J.J as a TE1 so he can suit up for Maclin Mad bitches (My Fantasy Team).

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NYC commuters…. your pain is felt! Johnny T Nails it. The Subway Blows!

The most accurate statements ever to come out of the mouth of a puppet.  This video is absolutely hilarious.  The reason being is the truth is always the funniest.  Watch this video during your ride on the subway and you are sure to see just about every occurrence mentioned on these tips.  In one ride.  The NYC subway is a mix between the most entertaining and miserable places on the planet but, it sure is efficient…… sometimes.

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I’m quitting my job and putting in my Target application tomorrow!

I honestly wish there were more people like this in the working world.  More managers who gave a crap about their employees and their jobs.  Here is a guy who works at Target, it isn’t the worst job but it certainly isn’t the most glamorous of jobs.  Fact is, this guy is having fun with it.  He’s inspiring other people to get excited about having to deal with a bunch of schmucks trying to save a buck-50 on hand towels.

Target Man!  We salute you!

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Everyone Has That One Uncle On Thanksgiving….

It’s thanksgiving.  So it’s time for everyone to do the same exact shit as every other family. Get together, eat till it’s hard to breathe, and get wildly drunk so these people you call family seem somewhat bearable to be around. I come from a large family, so it’s fun to see how everyone has a holiday tradition that they do around family. For me, it seems to be uncles that follow a simple routine every year, which ironically seems to have direct correlation with the 7 Dwarves. So I present to you:

Thanksgiving and the 7 Uncles

1. Sleepy – This might be the most common, this guy comes in hot, has one huge plate of food, followed by the statement…” Hey where is Uncle (insert name) “.  Well Uncle Sleepy is most likely to be found in a spare bedroom or down in the basement on that shotty futon catching some Zzz’s. We’ll wake you up when it’s time to leave.

2. Dopey – This guy kinda sucks.  He thinks he’s one of the young guys and that he’s hip and cool. No I don’t want to smoke weed behind the shed with you, ya dope.

3. Grumpy – He’s easily spotted, slight hunch from all the years of stress and hatred bearing down in that old body. His face usually has a scowl like he just found out women can vote. This guy is so mad he had to leave the house and has to deal with real people, and can’t just yell at the T.V. He’s probably the guy your parents had to pay you a dollar to say hello to because they felt bad that nobody loves him.

4. Sneezy – Yay! Somebody’s got the flu and decided he loves his family so much that he wants to share it with everyone. Stay away from me and Patient Zero, you get to sit at the kiddie table with the other Petrie dishes.

5. Bashful- This uncle’s just started his new diet. Come on, have some mashed potatoes …..”Oh no, I can’t, I’m on a no-carb diet..””Come on it’s Thanksgiving!” “….no no I really can’t….” “Just do it ya big baby, don’t be bashful” “….Ok fine I guess I’ll just have a little, it is Thanksgiving.” Saying no carbs at thanksgiving is like saying “Bomb” on a plane, god damn Bin Laden.

6. Happy- You know why this guy is happy? He wore elastic pants and had a 5th of vodka on the car ride over. Hes a few bowl rips away from being in a perfect euphoric state right before football. Take notes kids, this is the guy you want to be on the holidays.

7. Doc- The so called “leader”. More like “pompous asshole”. He’s a self proclaimed doctor even though he’s a dentist at best. You get stuck in at least one “Ugh I wanna kill myself,” conversation with this guy every get-together. You just keep saying, “yeah..” to everything, while you inch away and for some reason every step you take back he takes one forward.

 

I’m sure all of you have experienced one of these uncles. If not then, you’re more than welcome to post your stereotypes below. Happy Thanksgiving, from everyone at The Tailgate Times crew.

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Later RGIII, It’s been real

I hate to say I told you so but….. HAHAHA.  For some of you who know me personally, I’ve never been an RGIII fan.  I could just tell that he wasn’t going to be a successful NFL QB.  For those of you who don’t know me… This rant is for you.

When RG entered the league out of Baylor he actually  put up some awesome numbers.  3,200 yds for the season and over 800 rushing yards.  The guy is a one trick pony though.  With out his ability to extend plays and expand the pocket, he’s worse than average and borderline embarrassing.

When it comes to playing quarterback it comes down to 2 things to be effective in the NFL.  Obviously there are other factors that go in to making a great quarterback but 2 factors really stick out to me.  Those 2 factors are “Poise” and “Intelligence”.  Unfortunately, RGIII has neither.  I’m not saying RGIII is a stupid guy because he isn’t but, he doesn’t seem to have the football mind like the other elite QBs.  Example, Russell Wilson and even Ryan Tannehill know when to slide and when the hit is worth it (Tannehill has been a stud the past few weeks by the way).  But my point is it is not college and some guys can’t adapt.  That extra half a yard is less important than your health and some guys just don’t understand.

I wish RG the best of luck on his future endeavors and I hope he proves me wrong but, I believe he’s a useless NFL QB.  Great guy, very athletic, just not an NFL starting QB.  Not a great pocket passer and fact of the matter is, everyone in the league is fast.

Check out this article by deadspin….Things don’t look good….

Dead Spin: RGIII

 

RG3 White Boy

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Please Be Awesome

This Trailer is taking the world by storm, and I am just hoping that it does not, blow, the big one.  It’s safe to say that all the Jurassic Park sequels have been just terrible but, the original was so good that it created an entire generation of dreamers and changed the movie industry.  Good signs though that Spielberg is behind the construction of this movie and the technology behind CGI has far surpassed anything people could have imagined in ’93.  I think we have a shot at a killer movie.  It’s been so long it won’t be like a sequel but maybe a new franchise.  I’m excited and I hope this one turns out well. Enjoy!

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Dude Perfect Takes on Seattle

Testing 1,2…. Is this thing on.  Redesigning our site so thought I would put out a test post.  Plus I like these dude perfect videos.  Even though they are living the dream and have created the perfect job for Eric “Laser Rocket Arm” Noonan and didn’t invite me to the party, I still enjoy watching.  I’m still waiting for the Phone call guys.

@_Noons