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Welcome to the League Nik Stauskas – Teammates Pull Epic Prank on the Sacramento Kings Rookie

I won’t lie, Nik Stauskas was a favorite college player of mine back when he donned the blue and yellow at Michigan. He was like Gordon Hayward with a Steve Novak looking stroke and a knack for hitting big shots or making thrifty plays when the Wolverines needed it. But alas, with the NCAA Tournament squad led by Trey Burke, Tim Hardawy Jr. and Nik Stauskas long since dismantled and having left a gaping hole in the depressingly slow rebuilding Michigan basketball program, most people have forgotten the lanky small forward’s name. But fret not! My boy finally hits the internet headlines once again, as I hoped he would once breaking into the league. Mind you, ladies and gents, it’s not because of his on-court play (He’s rocking a 4.2 PPG statline). Nik is getting some cyber screen-time because fellow Sacramento Kings teammates Rudy GayReggie Evans and DeMarcus Cousins (honestly, can you picture a more formidable gang of pro-athlete pranksters?) showed us that a little light rookie hazing can still be fun and pretty god damn hilarious.

They pulled out a classic and decided to absolutely nail one of the variations of the fill-his-home-with-shit gags. And they went with one of the best things to fill the “shit” category–popcorn! The sheer logistics of acquiring this popcorn and transporting it only to look like the happiest bunch of kids dispersing it all about the home of Stauskas is enough to make any NBA fan jump on the sad forgotten California team’s bandwagon. Personally, I wish they filmed the purchase of the popcorn too. Imagine you’re just a blue-collar schmo behind the register at Costco and the giant man-child Cousins, bearded beast Evans, and specimen that is Gay rolled up hauling their body weight in popcorn?….. “Paper or plastic…..?”

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Gio Gonzalez Plays The Meow Game. Does He Do it Better Than Super Troopers ?

Super Troopers brought light to a Game some call the “Meow Game”. Trying to throw the word meow into normal conversation without making it blatantly obvious to the other person. Well Recently Gio Gonzalez SP of the Washington nationals decided to play this game with a sideline reporter. Max Scherzer seemed to be in on the stunt as well, as he kept count with a grin ear to ear the whole time. Who did it better though?

Gio is in The Role of Officer Foster, Scherzer is taking the role of Officer Mac. While Side line reporter takes on the role of Jim Gaffigan as the stooge ( Larry Johnson) who gets the Meow Bomb Dropped on Him in regular conversation.

It was a valiant effort by the Washington Nationals Pitching Staff. Nobody will beat the original super troopers stunt. Until you see the game used in an entirely inappropriate scenario, like a meeting with the U.N, or the house of congress I doubt anyone will beat the original. Don’t be discouraged though, its guaranteed to get a good chuckle anytime you break it out.

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Brewsday: Big Gruesome Chocolate Peanut Butter Stout

Spring House Brewing Company, PA, USA – Double Imperial Stout – 8% ABV

 

It’s stout season!  It’s always stout season but there is no better time to talk about stouts than on St. Patrick’s day.  I know I personally have one goal for today and that is to enjoy a perfectly poured Guinness.  With Guinness being easily the most iconic stout, today we will be talking about a whole different monster.  A Big Gruesome monster that is.

I’d like to introduce you to the Big Gruesome Chocolate Peanut Butter Stout (BGCPBS) brewed by the folks at Spring House Brewing Company in PA.  I’ll be straight with you, I’ve had this one on the back burner for a little while because this beer I tried in mid January.  It definitely left a memorable impression.  While we are on the whole honesty thing, I never would have known about this beer if it wasn’t for my buddy Danny.  This guy knows more about craft beer than I ever will, so thanks Dan!  And if the beer wasn’t good enough, the label in my opinion is one of the coolest i’ve ever seen.

Big Gruesome PoorThe BGCPBS was an ideal beer in the situation we drank it.  We drank it with breakfast.  We were up in the Poconos and were cracking open beers and out came Big Gruesome.  I’ve had peanut butter stouts before but until this point, nothing has come close to competing with Big Gruesome’s stout.  It was smooth and creamy and incredibly easy to drink.  It wasn’t overly thick but had awesome flavor.  It was a combination of all great things I love about stouts mixed with a Reese’s Peanut Butter cup milk shake.  It’s safe to say my taste buds were pleasantly surprised. 

A great bonus is the beer is an 8% ABV.  An awesome way to start off some winter day drinking.  Taste great and gives you a change of pace from everything else you’re regularly drinking.  A bit of a disclaimer, this is a 2 beer max kind of beer.  You can easily get through an entire bomber of this beer but if you start digging into a second I can see it not going down as smoothly. 

Advice of the day, get out and grab this stout or any stout for that matter.  It’s St. Patricks Day!  Might as well throw back a couple before it gets too nice out and the spring beers start to surface.  After tomorrow it’s nothing but Bud lights and Corona’s until September hits….

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Beating the Book: Bankroll Management

Contribution by TTT’s Vegas Wise Guy, GShap

With March Madness looming just around the corner, it’s imperative that the casual bettor does not get “action crazy” with the glorious slate of 1st round games. From those who have been getting after it all season long, to those who simply want a little extra motivation to care, I’d advise you to err on the side of caution when it comes to making your plays in the early rounds. It’s all too easy to get carried away and overexpose yourself, leaving a big hole to dig out of right from the get go. Below are some key insights on how to manage your bankroll to maximize, both your viewing pleasure, and of course, your profits.

Properly managing your bankroll is one of the most overlooked and mishandled aspects among amateur sports bettors. I firmly believe employing sound bankroll management strategy is equally as important to long term success as handicapping games. Now don’t get me wrong, no matter how flawless your bankroll strategy is, it all means nothing if your picking duds night in and night out. However, a great handicapper could, and most likely will, spend most of their betting career in the red if they do not properly tend to their bankroll.

Defining your bankroll  

For starters, defining your bankroll should be table stakes when it comes to sports betting. It’s amazing to me how many amateur bettors do not have a clearly defined bankroll (myself included for the better part of my sports betting career). Those who do not operate with a clearly defined bankroll can run into a multitude of issues ranging from cash flow to over exposure. Put simply, your bankroll is the amount of money you are willing to lose. This money should be already held by you, and set aside specifically for sports betting. Think of it as a lump sum investment into a hedge fund, and each position you take on a game, is the equivalent of a fund manager trading a security. This will not only give you peace of mind, but will actually improve your handicapping—you are more likely to objectively assess games and invest proportionally to your quantified edge if you’re not worrying about whether you will be able to cover your losses. Set that money aside, trust you’re handicapping, and invest proportionally to your edge.

Quantifying Your Edge

One of the best ways to maximize your long term chances of success in this industry is to quantify your edge in a manner that allows you to identify and invest an amount that is in proportion with your bankroll. If you were able to make any sense of this article so far, then you should know that most sports bettors quantify their edge in terms of betting units. Units are used to adjust for varying bankroll sizes and provide a method to share, compare, and quantify information between those with deep pockets, and those without (ie: 1 unit for me might be different than 1 unit for Billy Walters). If my unit is $100, and I take a 2 unit position on a game, I am wagering $200, while our boy Billy may be making the same 2 unit play, for 2 million. A bettor will quantify their edge in terms of units, and then make the appropriate proportional investment depending on the size of the edge—a commonly used and mathematically sound betting strategy if you ask me. What seems to be prevalent among amateurs is not having the slightest clue as to how they’ve determined their unit size. Whether it’s merely the book minimum, or a nice round number, all bettors should have some sort of justification for how they determined their unit. After all, what’s the point of using units to quantify your edge, if you have nothing to base it off of? A great starting point is the Kelly Criterion, a statistical model that calculates unit size based off a defined bankroll—see it eventually came full circle. The basics of the Kelley Criterion suggest that a sports bettor should base his or her unit as roughly 3-5% of your bankroll (assuming the probability of winning the bet is right on the 53% threshold needed to turn a profit). Keep in mind this is not a blanket statement, rather a nice starting point for those who are seeking a way to clearly define the basis for the size of an average bet.

How Much to Risk

As for how much you should have at risk at any given moment—that’s a little trickier. In theory, this amount should be unlimited. If you have identified a particular play as a profitable and worth investing, then there’s no reason to hold back. Sports betting should be looked at more as a calculated risk, rather than a gamble. A gamble is when you flip a coin and bet heads or tails, while a calculated risk is an identifiable edge that can be quantified into a monetary investment deemed profitable over the long haul. With that being said, if you have your entire bankroll is at risk this Thursday; your issue is well beyond that of bankroll management—do you really believe you have an edge big enough worth investing in every game on the board? As a general rule, if you are risking more than 40% of your entire bankroll at any given time, chances are you are spreading yourself too thin, and might want to rethink your handicapping strategy.

Regardless of how much you already have at play, if you think you have identified a quantifiable edge worth investing, no need to be gun-shy; trust your capping, and fire away. Employ some of the philosophies I’ve outlined above, and not only will your bankroll last the entire tournament, you may even be stopping at the window or getting paid from your guy when all is said and done.

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Age Is Just A Number : 54 Year Old Man Breaks World Record With 4,320 Pull Ups In A Day, Stay Motivated

Mark Jordan breaks The World Record for Most Pull ups in a Day at the age of 54, truly proving that age is just a number. If you take care of your body you can do amazing things for a long time. Stay positive and stay motivated. Even just walking around the neighborhood is better than making excuses that you can’t get anything done today. Happy Motivational Monday people, met moving.

A wise man, Pig Pen from “Out Cold”, once gave a motto to live By. Carpe Diem

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Did A Quality Piece Accidentally End Up In A Knicks Uniform?….. That’s What She Shved

To say that the New York Knicks (13-51, good for dead last in the entire National Basketball Association) are a sinking ship this season would be the understatement of the year. A more accurate ship metaphor for this year’s Knicks would be one whose captain (Phil Jackson) abandoned long ago, leaving first mate Derek Fisher aboard to sink gracefully with it to the ocean’s floor, and whose remains sit alongside the likes of the Titanic and the original theatrical reels of Fifty Shades of Grey (didn’t see it, but critical consensus allows me to mock it). In fact, the mere act of writing about this pathetic excuse for a squad that is dragging New York basketball to a new low is probably raising all kinds of questions about the amount of free time that I have on my hands. Well, your questions are valid, and while I’d rather not share the answer, I will admit that there’s enough of it to at least catch some Knicks highlights and grab a few stats or even catch a full game every now and then.

The past two weeks have involved a few more of the latter, and I’ve watched five consecutive losses that the word “embarrassment” doesn’t quite cover, followed by what seemed like the Knicks first win in ages, albeit over an almost equally pathetic Los Angeles Lakers team. Between grunts of disgust and urges to flip back to Seinfeld and/or Modern Family episodes that I’ve seen well over a dozen times, however, I became oddly enthusiastic about one of the Knickerbockers’ latest acquisitions. He seemed to be quite capable of handling the ball, creating his own shot, capitalizing on open looks, and even appeared to excel at creating shots for others. He stood at a formidable 6’6,” a fantastic size for a ballhandler, and his agility and decision-making reminded me of a longer Ricky Rubio–though perhaps that could be partially attributed to his physical characteristics and European style of play. But what struck me the most was that he looked rather youthful…. But that couldn’t be right–the Knicks mantra as of late has been to overpay stars who were past their prime and would deteriorate while collecting massive paychecks at the expense of the team’s future.

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Movie Mind-Grenade – Gran Torino Ghetto White Boy’s Secret

There aren’t many things that I particularly excel at aside from drinking in excess and blogging about shit, but obscure movie trivia is one of them. I’m the guy who visits IMDB (Internet Movie Database) more than any other website with the exception of that diamond in the Internet rough The Tailgate Times and social media platforms. If I’m watching a movie I can get lost for hours hopping from actor to movie to another actor and so on, and as a result I’ve developed a pretty great (yet kind of sad) eye for details that usually go unseen in films and television. So as I (very appropriately) sit in front of the TV with my feet up, laptop open, and phone a-buzzing with activity, I figure why not start sharing some of the more interesting little film and television factoids that have piled up in the section of my brain marked “Useless Shit/Learn a Craft Asshole.”

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Our Generation Needs This Text-Retrieval App, And We Need It STAT!

In the various chapters of human existence, there have been glorious moments where an innovation comes along that has the power to change the very course of history; wondrous products of the human imagination that reassure mankind of our endless potential for creative fulfillment and advancement in the face of countless obstacles.  From the cave-dweller who first harnessed fire, to Gutenberg’s printing press, to the Industrial and Internet Revolutions, to the boundless smartphone technology that we so enjoy.  Even to the Taco Bell Quesarito, a combination of quesadilla and burrito at which our Medieval ancestors would likely scorn and cast away as an unholy union. Today, we add another one of those pivotal, future altering innovations to the list–Strings.

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